You only give me your Funny Paper

March 13, 2020 The collector stared longingly at his prized piece of Beatles memorabilia, lovingly encased in a Plexiglas display box. He’d bought the item on a lark back in 1980, but had grown inexplicably fond of it over the past forty years. It had come with a certificate of authenticity from Ken Townsend, the [...]

Blink for Yourself

“Jeannie! JEANNIE!” Tony Nelson shouted from the breakfast table on his back terrace. Hearing no response, he scooped the coffee pot off the table and carried it into the house. He found Jeannie dancing in the middle of the living room floor, swinging her hips and swaying her arms to the beat of a silent [...]

Rhyme Rah Raytist!

The security guard shone his flashlight into the open driver’s side window of the colorfully-painted, large van. “I’ll need to see some identification from each one of you,” he demanded. “Ree roo?” Scooby Doo called up from the back seat. “Don’t worry, Scooby,” said Velma. “You have a nametag on your collar.” Shaggy slapped at [...]

Baby, Take a Chance with Me!

“Hey, Aunt Peli, I’m home!” shouted John Lennohnaka. He scowled at the pit droids loitering in the shadow of the spacecraft parked in the repair dock, then approached his aunt. “How come that lot’s not helping you?” Peli tugged at her wrench, struggling to open the scorched panel that covered the ship’s secondary power unit. [...]

The Duke was Having Problems with a Message

“All right, boys, let’s take it from the top!” shouted John. He plucked out a guide note on his ukulele, then started singing, “This happened once before, as I came to your door – no reply-y-y-y.” Paul, George and Ringo joined in with their instruments as soon as John stressed the final syllable of the [...]

’Cause I’m the Fish, and You’re the Sea

Ringo held out his hand to help Jeremy Hilary Boob climb down the last rung of the ladder. “So this is a submarine?” Jeremy asked as he surveyed his surroundings. “It is a splendid thing to see. A wonder of machinery!” Paul nudged John and whispered in his ear. “Does he never stop with the [...]

The Lucky Man who made the Grade

John pulled a stool up to the table, squeezed into the small spot between his brothers George and Ritchie, and looked at the magistrate with a plaintive expression. “Sorry I’m late,” he apologized. “The cat just threw up by the door. I wanted to clean the mess before someone stepped in it.” The magistrate nodded [...]

I’ve found a Driver, and that’s a Start!

“Um, excuse me?” John whispered. He inched a little closer to the weeping maiden and tapped her shoulder. “You there? Hello? Could I bother you for a bit? If you don’t mind, that is?” The girl looked up at John and flinched. “Bugger me! Who the hell are you?” “I’m your godfather,” he said. “I [...]

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